Saturday, September 20, 2008

My Fatwa
A fatwa in the Islamic cult is a legal opinion or ruling from an Islamic scholar. It is that simple and that deadly. So when you hear that somebody in a remote village of some far off land has issued a Fatwa that legalizes the killing of an individual, or a whole nation, it is actually one man's opinion expressed as a statement wrapped up in some sort of undefined Islamo Legalistic wording.

Notice that the definition does not specify who can issue Fatwas, and what the criteria of support really are. A Fatwa, in reality, is one man's opinion based on his very own interpretation of the holy books that Islam revere as the word of their peculiar God, in this case called Allah.

Having studied Islam these last thirteen years with growing concern and contempt, I wondered if I qualified as a Scholar, and if yes, could I issue a Fatwa? After consulting with a Muslim friend, and speaking to an Imam who will remain nameless, we concluded that in reality anyone can issue a Fatwa. How it is received is based on each Muslim's opinion of the ruling and the person who issued the Fatwa.

Remarkably, the faithful have to exercise their judgement in deciding which Fatwa merits his support. In effect absolving the Fatwa issuer from responsibility for the actions of his followers.

On the other hand some Fatwas are less serious than the usual suicide bombers, ritual killing of women and other psychotic rulings that Islam seems to expect. My favorite is still the Fatwa that forbids married couples to be entirely naked during sex, the other is that for an unmarried man and a woman to work together without offending Allah, she must breast feed the man eight times, that appears to suffice in establishing some sort of legality to work together and allows the woman to"show her hair" to her co-worker.

I am not a prude, but the idea of an uptight Saudi oil executive requesting to suckle his admin's teats is, at the very least, interesting.

My personal Fatwa at this point is very simple, since the present Islamo-Fascists have taken over the responsibility to kill and maim innocent people, I hereby declare a Fatwa on all radical Muslims who in thought and in act express or carry out the desire and the purpose of murdering anyone for any reason, those people may be hunted down and killed on sight. There is, of course, no trip to heaven and itsnumerous virgin Djinn, for anyone who carries out these acts of terrorism

I have studies Islam and other religions for many years, and I believe that this is the true will of God.

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Thursday, September 11, 2008

Critical Questions for the Candidates.

The recent spate of incredibly ridiculous election activities has caused a number of us to pause and wonder how silly will this election really become. For example, is the latest Palin brat actually Sarah's or Bristol's? I don't know how many of us have blasted off to the maternity ward once the waters have broken, but I suspect quite a few pregnant women had only one idea when that happened, get to the hospital, little Trig or Track is on his way!!

Sarah is made of sterner stuff, her reaction to the imminent arrival of Trig, while noodling around Texas, was to casually get on a plane and fly all the way back to Alaska, then jump in a car for another couple of hours to finally birth the babe in an out of the way discreet hospital. Sounds logical, or is it? I have five bucks that shortly before Bristol is supposed to whelp, she will miscarry so that the whole adventure can get swept under a rock, and one day, little trig will have a DNA test and find out who Daddy and Mommy really were.

Then, of course, on the other side, we must ask the burning question, why does Obama hate women?

There are four theories and none of them pretty, which would explain his latent sexism. The first, going back to his infancy, is that it is but a reflection on his early day's Muslim upbringing. We all know about the deep respect that that particular cult harbors for the fair sex. After all their answer to women in the house is to put a bag on their heads. There is little need for education and even less for any skills or intelligence. Could this early theo misogyny have deeply imprinted baby Barrack? Who knows, but attitudes can be learned in the cradle, and his was rocked by Big Mo.

Second theory, and closely allied to the first, is that he did not have an early male role model to impress on him that although all men are created equal, women do have a place in our society. Theory three is pure speculation based solely because of where I live, could the good Senator be gay? Homosexual friends assure me that they believe that either he is in denial, stuck in the closet or just plain double dipping. They all agree that the Senator from Illinois is one of them and they are as proud of him as the women of America are of Palin, in other words, not at all.

The fourth theory is what I like to call getting up and movin' on. Obama does not like women because they remind him too much of the years he's spent doing Stepin Fetchit (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stepin_Fetchit) work for the Chicago ward bosses. Having spent his early years doing little, and his elected years doing less, he is acutely aware of the amount of work that the women in his office were responsible for, and he, being a good red blooded American, did not appreciate being put down by uppity females, then he had to face off against Hillary, a truly remarkable person compared to his mediocrity, no wonder that he be bitter, like the American middle class he so despises.

I have a number of other questions for the candidates like does McCain still like Vietnamese food? Or is Palin a better shot than Cheney? Is Biden really incorporated in Delaware or is he just a resident. Curious questions for strange times.

Happy September Eleventh, nothing changes, nobody came back, the war goes on.

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