Monday, February 23, 2009

In defense of a Flat Earth
It occurred to me last night that with the rapidly increasing assault on some of our most cherished institutions, and the knee jerk reaction to defend them, the time had come to revisit the flat earth concept.
For thousands of years, way before even Jesus was born, killed, reborn and born again, mankind has maintained that the earth was flat. I believe that this is till the truth in spite of all the evidence to the contrary, and my reasons are not based on cold hard facts but on an abiding faith sustained by millions of now dead believers and certain undeniable facts.
After all if God has more lives than a cat and Christ is still alive although he was beaten, dragged through the streets of Jerusalem and hung on a cross like a piece of beef jerky, then the earth should also remain flat.
So let's look at socio economic model, if the earth is flat, according to age old tradition, it is bordered on all sides by water. This actually true, you will look at any of the revisionist maps of the world, even though they maintain that the world may be a round ball, every land mass is surrounded by water. Need more proof? no matter where you go, and how far you travel you will always be exactly where you are.
In other words, no matter where you go, there you are. That is something that you do not have to take on faith, but can observe on your own just as you can observe the greater glory of God anywhere you want to look for it. Of course blinders are useful, but that is another story.
Now, from a purely psycho-economic point of view,you would expect that the more grounded personalities would stay in the middle, while the slowly rotating disk that is our flat old earth, would gently move the more volatile members of society onto the outer edges. That is called the spin factor or centrifugal force of a rotating disk. You can observe this in a child's playground where the merry go round, if spun fast and hard enough will eject the smaller and more volatile elements first.
Ever notice who ends up on the side of the oceans, not your rock steady Iowa farmer, but your hippy, degenerate reformer. Check out California if you don't believe me.
Since the earth is undeniably flat, the more recent theories about travel around the globe do not apply because on a flat surface you can only go from point to point, no matter what the airlines tell you. Any distraction from that point of view can only be clear evidence of a complete lack of faith in the assertions of the learned few who know that the earth is flat.
Care to dispute these facts, then speak to my inquisitor, he has not evolved either over the millenia.